Before he could say more she quit him with a sudden kiss and he had to gasp. Her Fingers in his hair felt so pleasant and the way she pressed herself against made him defenseless. He knew this was her way to show what she felt and maybe she felt pain at this thought, so he simply let her take the lead and didn’t complain. It felt too good to stop it. He hummed low and replied her Kiss likewise. Meg pushed him and forced him to walk backwards. He stumbled against a pillar and gasp noisy. She didn’t need to tell him how much she wanted him. He could feel it in every Bone of his Vessel. Cas moved his Hands to her waist and searched for the Rims of her shirt to slip under it, touching her skin. He licked over her Lips and exhaled a breathless moan. Every nerve inside him reacted to her Body. “I want you too.” he whispered against her mouth. “just you” he added and stroked her just heated skin.
Meg flinched when she heard his first answer to what she had dared to say. Angels… She shrugged once more when Cas touched her to turn her around, allowing him to do so, listening to his whispers. Enough emotions, she didn’t want him to finish that sentence and crushed her mouth on his, wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her fingers into his hair, pressing herself against him. Sex was much more easier and much less painful, especially with him. Again Meg could feel an ache where her heart was supposed to be and - like some say - where the soul was placed. Meg frowned with closed eyes sucking his lower lip between her teeth and forcing Cas to walk backwards until they reached something she could press him against. A pillar that creaked under the pressure. Meg let her hands move from the back of his neck across his soft skin, not letting the fabric get between her fingertips and him. “I want you”, she exhaled soundlessly. This was so much easier to say.
He dared not to leave her Lips, not bearing the loss of the contact with her. The only two words she managed to exhale were enough to let his Body shiver but he felt how she struggled and he moved his Hands on her Back to embrace her. He hold his breath. Was she about to say it? Her Body felt tense and her replied her desperate Kiss. His own Body tensed likewise and the grip on his shirt let him froze. The anticipation was almost to much to bear. his Heart raced and his Hands started sweating. Should he say something? But What? He wanted to calm her, telling her that it is alright when she kept the words inside. He slid his Hands down to her waist and clawed into the rim of her shirt. he needed something to hold on. Somehow he felt some kind of flight instinct. Again, just the two words. He sensed her inner fight and how hard she tried. This alone let him shudder. The thought that Meg wanted this so badly was answer enough for him. He don’t needed a spoken proof of her feeling for him. Or did he? Now his Kiss turned into a desperate but then she broke and looked down. He followed her Fingers that slid down on his shirt but looked eyes-widen to her when she finally said it. His Heart skipped a beat and he inhaled heavy. The Emotion that overwhelmed his Mind let him stare open-mouthed at her. All he wanted now was to touch her again, to hold her tight. She turned around and he could see the awkwardness just by her behaviour. He raised his Hand but dropped it again. He bit his lower lip and sorted his thoughts and starred helpless to her tensed shoulders. “I…appreciate that.” He could hit himself. He sighed and shook his Head. Great Words, idiot. He finally managed to touch her shoulder to turn her around. “Meg, It’s okay.” he almost whispered. “I know that it is hard to understand, for you and for me.”
His word hit her right in her core giving her a mixture of pain and relieve right away. “Me too”, she breathed out against his moth, pressing her body against his. Maybe this time was the one of a million. Meg could feel her fingers dig into the fabric of his shirt, like her body knew something that she didn’t. She pressed her lips against his even more, almost desperately. “I”, she inhaled the air she didn’t need, looking down into nothingness, clinging to his shirt as if it was the only thing that stopped her being sucked downwards to hell, to home. More desperately she pressed her body against his, bringing one hand from his collar to his neck. Meg felt like she was sucked into earth, downwards. Suddenly she felt so utterly heavy. She needed to feel his skin, letting her hand brush across his neck, breathing heavily. There was no way. Meg simply couldn’t say it. “Me too”, she eventually repeated, feeling somehow defeated. She let go of his neck. The gravity was gone and she looked down again, brushing with her down the button-line of his shirt. “I love you too”, she heard herself say, immediately feeling a hole in her stomach, tearing her eyes open for e brief moment. She froze. What the hell was wrong with her? She was a demon, a servant of the sins, of hell, not some weak lovesick human. Instantly she turned around and cleared her throat, looking at the papers again.
Her Look let him slightly shiver. She had always something in her Gaze that paralyzed him. Her grab forced him to lean down and she kissed him. For a Moment he blinked in confusion about her action but then he smirked. “I can not avoid my way to speak.” Cas learned to read her expressions and knew what she thought and the Way her voice sounded right now made it clear. He swallowed cause her Voice was his weakness and as if she wanted to make it more clear for him him, she started to brush her body against his. He made a humming noise and leaned down again, enfolding her face with his Hands to kiss her gently. He had no idea how things will become when they get back to the real world but they will manage it somehow. He whispered a low love you against her Lips. The ticklish feeling that ran through him every time these words leave his Mouth was exciting and still new. he added and always with hope in his Voice.
“Exactly”, Meg nodded, still avoiding his gaze. But when he stepped closer she couldn’t help but look up. His send clouded her senses like they always did and she caught herself simply staring at him. Without her really noticing she grabbed his shirt and pulled at it, so that he had to lean down a little, and kissed him. “You know you shouldn’t ask me that and stand that close to me, don’t you?” she asked in a hoarse tone and narrowed eyes, the corner of her lips lifted to a roguish smirk. Meg moved closer to him, brushing her body briefly against his. Maybe this was even their last time together. Who knew how he would look at her once reality got back to him? Again she scolded herself for letting her thoughts stray to far ahead. They were here, now, nothing else did matter. She could feel the new pain inside her, the knowledge that he had changed her forever and for her there was no way back to her old self.
Even if their Place was a Mess he felt really comfortable in her presence. He got to know her more and more and how much they have in common. He stared to feel and behave more and more human and it scared him a little. in contrast to Meg he was still a worse Human. She had a hard time to teach him little things and he knew it annoyed her once in a while. The loss of his Grace caused facial Hair, growing Fingernails and stuff like that. But she tired to make him feel useful, even if he felt like a stupid child. When she made her rounds around the area, he cleaned the barn as fas as he could. he knew her was no help in a fight in his current state. Sometimes he just had to smile about how much this situation reminded him on a relationship from a Human couple. He learned to understand his Emotions and he knew for sure that he loved her how strange it was. She didn’t told him yet that she loves him too but he was sure she did. It was hard for a Demon to talk about that and he knew that. Still, he wished she could say it.
A few days passed by and Meg told him that they were out of food. Going to town and find his Grace on the way. Sounds easy. He sighed, shrugging his sarcastic thought away. “So, we could.. Kill two birds with one stone?” He crooked his head not sure if he used the right phrase. Cas followed Meg to her Backpack and looked to the papers. he turned his eyes to her when she addressed him and made a nod. “I agree with you, the Healer won’t be a threat.” He stepped into her personal space, looking closer at the papers. “You want to leave right away?”
Doing it the human way
Cut off from the normal world - whatever normal would mean - the next few days were something like a blur. Meg couldn’t tell how Castiel felt, but for her this time felt more like human memories to her than reality. Maybe just because there were just the two of them and no one to remind her, that they both were hunted rebells from the opposite sites of existence. Even though she still kept making her rounds, looking out for possible danger, like Leviathans, angels, demons or hunters. But these facts moved further and further away the more days passed and it was just then when she caught herself thinking, that she wouldn’t mind forgetting the time wholly, as Meg realized that they were out of food, which meant that they in fact had been here for about two weeks.
Meg let out a sigh and got back on her feet again. Honeymoon’s over, she thought to herself, being pretty sure that as soon as they both got into the second car, which was waiting in a den a few miles down that old road, reality would start hit them, until it had beaten them up, when they reached the first town. She wouldn’t allow herself to think that far. They had to find Castiel’s grace, because it was his, because he was an angel and because he could protect her and she wouldn’t have to hide beneath the dirt like a vermin. He had to get his grace back so that they could find the Winchesters and he could redeem himself, so that they could continue where they left off more than a year ago: killing Crowley. So that she could go back home again. Ironically she hadn’t missed home for weeks.
“Food’s out”, Meg stated, not looking to Cas. “Which means, we’re save to go back to civilization.” She gave the last word a sarcastic sound. “And we can go looking for your grace.” The demon walked to that backpack which she hadn’t touched for a week and got out the folder in which she had brought all the information together about the faith-healer and the psychic which both might have the grace in their possession. “After which you wanna go first?” she asked, still not looking at him, but studying the papers which she knew with closed eyes. “I’d say the healer, he won’t put up a fight.”
Suddenly he felt cold when she brought some space between them but he couldn’t shiver fast enough cause she looked at him in that strange way and he just froze because he couldn’t read her expression. But then she came closer again and enfolded her face and kissed him short but so intense and he crooked his head. He heard her words and just nodded with a slight smile. Even if the Situation was a little awkward, she turned it to something warm and good. he closed his eyes, feeling her thumb on his Lips and sighed. Her soft Lips changed the place with her thumb and he made he deep hum. She didn’t pushed him away that was a plus. He knew that this was a unfamiliar Situation for him and for her but maybe she felt the same. Her Words confirmed his thoughts. Why else would a Demon care for an Angel that much? He smiled against her Lips. He searched for an answer while he moved his Hand into her Hair. “I know..” He breathed against her Lips. “and I will protect you as far as I can.” He knew he was not completely useless. he was still a soldier and he would protect her even if it could be his Death. Somehow this recognition was a little shock. But it felt right in every bone of his Vessel and every corner of his Mind. He loved a Demon and he was fine with it.
Him replying her kiss numbed everything again and she felt sound for a brief moment, until he said it. Meg gasped and if he wouldn’t have pulled away first, she would have. Panic burned through her veins, her lungs. Before she could say anything, Cas apologized. And that was even worse. Meg stepped back, bringing space between them, breaking the embrace and looked at him, frowningly, her eyes slightly narrowed and her head tilted. The she leaped towards him again, catching his face with her tiny hands and kissed him fiercely and quick. Staring at his lips for a moment before her eyes jumped to his. “When you have to be sorry for something around it, you’ll know it, okay?” she said lowly, brushing one thumb of hers across his lower lip, and her eyes were caught by them again. Meg kissed him once more, gently this time. She couldn’t respond to what he had said. For a demon that thought was even more impossible as for an angel who was supposed to love. But demons were the opposite, weren’t they? And even if she wanted to: she couldn’t sell lust and desire for love, even though she knew that this weren’t the only emotions Castiel caused in her. She repeated the kiss. “I’ll kill everything that hurts you”, she said instead.
